#and that freeze and fawn trauma responses change how we show distress and sometimes makes us not show it appropriately
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
pears-trinkets · 6 months ago
Text
.
#every time i ask for help it ends up worse than it was#when i ask my mom she accuses me of not wanting help and not knowing what i want and how its my fault i dont want to be better#im always accused of not wanting help and not doing anything as if im not always researching and calling doctors and social workers#but thats my mom shes crazy and manipulative#but then when i take friends by their word that i can always talk to them and open up and say that i need them#i get ghosted???? 🥲#like its kinda funny at this point#and i know its a common autistic thing that people think that we dont mean what we say and play down our emotions#and that freeze and fawn trauma responses change how we show distress and sometimes makes us not show it appropriately#but every time i said#hey im feeling really bad i need you#to someone#they answer way too late and go like haha oops oh well!!!! sorry so busy!!!#as if my request had a time limit and now it didnt matter anymore#or they literally stop answering me for months#i texted my mental hospital friend in november for her birthday and she answered in january and i told her im in distress#and i havent heard from her since#every time i need someone their own life comes in the way which is fine and natural but#i really get the feeling i only matter to people#when im there for them and to help them or when im fun to be around#everyone says hey its okay and important to ask for help#people who care want you to ask for help#and i remind myself of that and try to work on my abandonment issues and all the self isolating#and then i get ignored and abandoned and i literally cant do it anymore 🥲#i know its unfair to think my friends should know that im having a stressful time so they should know better and check on me#so i dont do that and i communicate#but it doesnt do anything!!!!! literally nothing!!!#i think its even making it worse because they think theyve let me down so much i wont ask again and theyre off the hook#what else can i do????? like genuinely im so confused#and because i get hung up on those things i get borderline diagnosis that are wrong because i obsessively try to be fair and not too clingy
0 notes
myfandomrambles · 5 years ago
Text
She-Ra Attachment Styles
Something I find interesting is that it’s pretty clear that both Adora and Catra struggle with Disorganized Attachment, but it presents pretty differently. 
Let's look at them based on the list of characteristics of DA from this article
Aggressive tendencies will sometimes occur: 
Catra shows more violence towards others I think this comes from her physical abuse being more profound seeing violence as being done to her so she turns this and acts out her abuse on others. 
For Adora violence tends to be more of a protective mechanism. Both for her emotional pain and as a literal defence against real or perceived threats. 
Altered pain tolerance:
This is a bit harder to say for sure, but they are willing to fight and don’t tend to stop even when they can. Taking and giving hits that show the most injuries in the story. 
Adora/She-Ra comes back from having her back slashed pretty easily.
Catra views the physical abuse Hordak puts on her as kind of a sick joke. 
Difficulties in their familial relationships outside of the family of origin: 
Catra shows this in a much stronger way not being able to form any stable relationship after Adora, even when Scorpia reaches out to her.
 Adora doesn’t show this as much befriending Glimmer and Bow pretty easily. However, we can see that she feels separated from her friends like when they try and make plans. 
Have an unstable self-identity: 
Adora bases her identity pretty heavily on having to be perfect and on being a hero, she struggles to be her own person. Adora feels like she isn’t her own separate from her history as being She-Ra.  This is understandable as she is treated as a possession by Shadow Weaver and has to be something other than just a person to the Rebellion. 
Catra often cycles between feeling like she is the most powerful, to feeling worthless, and basing who she is on how much power she has and in comparison to Shadow Weaver and Adora. 
Have hyperactive fawn and freeze responses:
We see a freeze response in catra even though she seems to act out we see this response in her dealing with Shadow Weaver and Hordak. 
Adora has a freeze response when overwhelmed with fighting Catra and with Light Hope when overwhelmed. 
Both show a fawn response to Shadow Weaver early on for Adora and into season two with Catra. An example is how quickly Catra falls back under her control. 
Lacks coping skills to deal with distress: 
Neither really talk through their distress or are able to self regulate. 
Adora shows she struggles with this, often bolting and running away from problems or trying to handle emotional stress as a strategic problem to use warfighting methods. Adora often has to be coxed into calming down. 
Catra tends to shut people out completely and even shut down internally. She acts out against others and even struggles when Scorpia tries to co-regulate with her.
Often suffer from mental health issues related to trauma (C-PTSD/PTSD) :
 Adora: 
Anxiety
Disrupted systems of meaning 
Flashbacks
Guilt
Hyperarousal
Identity issues
Idolization/devaluation of abusers
Panic attacks
Obsessive thoughts
Sleep Issues
Struggles to express and understand her emotions
Struggles with relationships
Catra: 
Abusers
Depression
Destructive behaviour 
Dissociation
Extreme emotional highs and lows
Flashbacks
Hyperarousal 
Irritability and restlessness
Isolation 
Panic attacks
Preoccupation with abusers
Preoccupation with revenge
Splitting 
Struggles with relationships
Suicide attempts
Trust Issues 
Poor self-esteem:
 We can see this pretty easily in reference to their identity issues.
Adora can’t even see herself as not guilty for all the worlds wrong till the end of season 3. How this declaration of not being at fault for Catra’s mistakes will apply to other events like with Mara and Angela’s death is yet to be seen. 
Catra pretty much explains herself as not good enough after Hordak throws her out. She is more willing to die and burn the world around her then to believe she can heal and be better. 
Severe hypervigilance: 
This can be seen in neither of them being able to calm down and seeing most everything as threats. 
Both literally jump at shadows and seem to be more on edge in comparison to friends being able to periodically sense danger others miss, a useful part of hypervigilance.
They both also have a heightened startle response to a big example of hypervigilance. 
Struggles with education and employment:
This is stronger with Catra but some signs are seen in both. 
Due to basing her worth on succeeding as much as possible Adora is hyperinvolved in her work which is a form of struggling even if it often allows her to due what is needed.
Catra is generally okay at her work when it comes to strategy. But anything that takes her having to concentrate and work in bounds like paperwork she freaks out. She also isn't good with playing politics in her looking for approval from Hordak or complete viewing it as bullshit. Her ned to rebel and force people away also gets in the way.
Unstable relationships:
With each other, they both have an obsessive mindset either getting each other back or pushing away as hard as they can. 
With catra this can also be seen with Scorpia and Entrapta in her switching back forth in rather she lets them in. 
Will deal with dissociative tendencies and/or dissociative disorders (DID/OSDD): 
We can see dissociation in Catra when she hears Adora mention shadow weaver changing side auditory and visual stimulation goes wonky and she seems to be in her own world. 
When Adora is scared and bolts you can see her world shrink around her and sometimes similar sound changes can be seen. There might be dissociative aspects in with panic attacks. 
Will often have had multiple traumatic experiences: 
They both continue to put themselves in dangerous situations.
Adora involves herself in war and violence immediately. 
Catra ends up under abusers’ thumbs chronically being hurt in similar ways to before. 
9 notes · View notes